Picture of a fleece throw blanket from Dutch Oven Kits Cracked Rat Gray Color close up on wood floor with a white brick background
A black dutch oven kits blanket in a box with a recipe card and stickers on a wood background
The Original Dutch Oven Kits - Fart Blanket Gift Box
Picture of a fleece throw blanket from Dutch Oven Kits Tactical Green Color close up on wood floor with a white brick background
Dutch Oven Fart Recipe Card
Picture of a fleece throw blanket from Dutch Oven Kits Breakwind Blue Color close up on wood floor with a white brick background
The Original Dutch Oven Kits - Fart Blanket Gift Box
Picture of a couple holding hands under a blue blanket
Picture of a fleece throw blanket from Dutch Oven Kits Fartapotamus Hot Pink Color close up on wood floor with a white brick background
Picture of 4 blankets on a bed. A gray, blue, green and pink.
picture of a smiling woman inside a green blanket fort
$34.99

Dutch Oven Kits

The Original Dutch Oven Kits - Fart Blanket Gift Box

Everybody Farts!

Dutch Oven Kits Fart Blanket Gift Boxes are a hilarious gift for the Farters in your life. Every Kit comes with a BIG, Soft Throw Blanket, Fart Recipe Card and other goodies!

    The Down & Dirty

    picture of a green open box

    What's in the  Box?

    • BIG Soft Throw Blanket
    • Fart Recipe Card (Featuring the Classic Dutch Oven + 3 More!)
    • Stickers
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    Available in 5 Great Colors

    • Silent But Deadly (Black)

    • Tactical Green

    • Cracked Rat (Gray)

    • Breakwind Blue

    • Fartapotamus (Pink)

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    Features

    • 100% Microfiber Fleece
    • 60" x 80"
    • Machine Washable (Just in Case)
    • *Farts Not Included*
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    Fart Recipe Card

    4 Ways to Fart on Someone!

    • The Classic Dutch Oven
    • The Creeper
    • The Fart Fortress
    • The Screamin' Eagle*

    *Strictly a Joke. Do not attempt.*


    What's A Fart Recipe Card?!

    picture of the dutch oven kits fart recipe card showing the classic dutch oven and the creeper

    The Fart Recipe Card:


    We cooked up some authentic Dutch Oven Kits Recipes just for you! Consider them a crash course in tactical tooting!


    Start with The Classic Dutch Oven then progress to The Creeper, The Fart Fortress and The Screamin' Eagle!*


    *Screamin' Eagle is strictly a joke. Do not attempt!*

    They'll Laugh Their Butt Off!

    picture of a smiling dad and kid showing their dutch oven kit

    ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

    Originally bought this as a gift for my husband. He told my 4 year old son it traps farts for other people. so now all he does is use it to fart in and it's the greatest. thanks for the laughs! :)

    -Destiny

    picture of a smiling woman holding a gray blanket

    ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

    "My brother sharted earlier this year and I couldn't be more thrilled to give this to him. Thank you for bringing some joy into our lives!"

    -Jen

    We're Not Pulling Your Finger

    The Blankets Are Awesome Too!

    • 10,000+ Dutch Oven Kits Sold!
    • 250+ ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Reviews!

    - Every Dutch Oven Kits Fart Blanket is 100% microfiber fleece, machine washable and tumble dry(able)!


    - Gift Boxes available in Original and Deluxe sizes.


    - Did we mention they're BIG? 60" x 80" to be exact!


    - It's a hilarious, practical gift that will ACTUALLY get used!

    a couple holds hands on a bed under a bright blue blanket
    two sisters smiling wrapped in a gray blanket
    a woman sits inside a blanket fort made with a green blanket

    Add A Card to Your Order

    Picture of a pair of hands holding 4 different greeting cards.
    • 10 hilarious designs to choose from!
    • Printed in the USA on heavy 100% PCW recycled paper.
    • Paired with a 100% recycled brown kraft envelope.
    • Packaged in a biodegradable cello sleeve.
    • Made in United States of America
    Shop Greeting Cards
    The Original Dutch Oven Kits - Fart Blanket Gift Box

    What are you waiting for?

    You won't find a better gift anywhere!

      FAQ

      • Do your blankets absorb farts or make noises?

        In a word: No. They're just BIG, awesome, blankets! If you're looking to put a stop to someone's hot farts, maybe it's time to fight fire with fire. Just sayin'!


        They also DO NOT make fart noises. You provide the fart effects with your own butt.

      • What are your Shipping Rates?

        Shipping Rates

        - Orders over $75 ship free (5-9 Days)

        - Shipping (5-9 Days) is $8.99 for orders $20 and up

        - Shipping (5-9 Days) is $5.99 for orders below $20.

        - Expedited Shipping (3-5 Day) is available for $18.50


        Order Processing Times

        - Most orders are processed in 1-2 Days.


        Shipping Speed

        - Most packages arrive within 5-9 business days after they are shipped

        - Expedited Shipping is available as an option Packages will ship by either Priority Mail 2-3 Day or UPS 3-5 Day depending on package size.


        Shipping Location

        - We ship from Northern California

      • How big are your blankets?

        All of our blankets are 60" x 80" and 100% microfiber fleece. They're BIG and Super Soft!

      • What are the Washing Instructions?

        Machine Washable - Warm


        Tumble Dry - Normal


        We have personally been using & washing our blankets for over 3 years and they're still holding up!

      • Do you sell on Amazon?

        No. If you see our products on Amazon (or any other site except Etsy), they are counterfeit. We do our best to sweep these sites and have copycat listings removed, but sometimes they get through. Our legitimate products are only sold here on our website or on Etsy. 

      • I bought this for someone and they hate it. Can I return it?

        Short answer, yes! Our Return Policy can be found HERE.


        Long answer; you need to reconsider your friendship, These things are hilarious!

      • Are you a legit Small Business?

        YES! We're a small, Family Owned Business. Not owned by any major corporation!


        Check out our About Us page to learn about our story! 

      • If a man farts in the forest and nobody is around, does it make a smell?

        Probably. Y'all are nasty!

      Reviews

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      Never Trust A Fart!

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